Why Sex Is Not Love

Why Sex Is Not Love

Since when is sex the “ultimate” form of love and why do we all just
take this as gospel?
The foundation of the sexually repressed argument is that we shouldn’t
“sleep around” because sex is losing its meaning. And why does it
have a universal meaning, as in, when did we all agree that sex is the
absolute pinnacle of a demonstration of love?
The more that I think about it, the more I realize that if you need to use
sex to demonstrate LOVE, you obviously don’t have the tools to
communicate effectively. Love isn’t about a slow moving penis going
in and out of your vagina while someone softly strokes your hair and
tells you they love you over and over. Saying ‘I love you’ isn’t loving
someone either. Anyone can do that with absolutely no effort. It’s
simple and basic and common. Showing your love for someone isn’t
flowers, spouting cliches or over-priced rocks given to impress
People fake love every day. ‘I love you’s and sex within a committed
relationship doesn’t mean shit if you can’t adequately make someone
feel enchanted. Because guys, if you haven’t made a woman feel like
she’s floating, then you haven’t loved her correctly. Love is instilling
emotions. Giving comfort and security by the truth of your actions.
Looking into someone so close and so perfect that they know they
could trust you with their life. To make someone feel home in your
You don’t get that with words. You don’t get that with buying
things. And you certainly don’t get that with a penis in a vagina.
Stop being lazy and learn how to clearly demonstrate your
feelings. Because real motherfuckers know it is strength that allows
you to be open and vulnerable. That is, if you truly love someone.

From my book Hard Feelings

About author

Christopher Gutierrez

Christopher Gutierrez is the author of several books on love, sex, and relationships. He also hosts a weekly podcast, The Deep End, in addition to running Deadxstop Publishing. Since 2006, he has given hundreds of speakings at colleges, coffee houses and universities all over the world.

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