The hard parts

The hard parts

The problem is, we are constantly looking to be inspired. We are so susceptible that even when we’re not paying attention we can be motivated by a song on the radio, a quote from the internet, or a moment in a sitcom. We are hungry. Desperate. We thrive off of hope. Just one more glimmer that will help get us through this day, this breakup, this loneliness, this place in life where we feel lethargic – like our small lives are meant to go nowhere.

Despite being brought up on “You can do anything”s, most of our lives will go nowhere. Countless teachers and influential adults told me that I could be the next president, senator, doctor – IF I was willing to try hard enough. And they weren’t lying. But the small disservice they did was neglecting to demonstrate just how difficult trying truly is. So yes, you can become anything you want in life, but you also have to understand that there won’t always be a teacher or a song or a quote from the internet there to guide you through the hard parts.

And that’s what they should have taught. The hard parts. How to recognize them and how to navigate them without anyone’s goddamn help. See, so many of us look around for a helping hand. When the rent is due. When we need to parallel park. When we can’t get into the show. So many of us feel like someone should be there to help us get through the hard parts. But the truth is, sometimes people have other shit going on that doesn’t coincide with our turmoil. Sometimes people are busy. Sometimes people are out of town. And sometimes people are just outright selfish and lazy and don’t feel that our problems justify them getting off the couch or canceling their plans for us. And in the Hard Parts 101, they should have said, “Yeah, you can do anything you put your mind to, as long as you try hard enough – and not expect anyone to help you when shit gets rough.”

And it’s that last part that has derailed so many dreams and aspirations. You know, that whole part when shit got rough. When you didn’t have the money or the opportunity or the helping hand. You could have been and done so much with your life if someone would have just been there to give you that extra shove of inspiration and guided you along. But the difference between the people you look up to and where you are right now is that your heroes, your motivators, well they made their own luck. Their own opportunities. They learned how to become their own helping hand. They were so starved for inspiration that after being let down by everyone around them, they made their own way. Because they were so hungry and so desperate after everyone else left that they were willing to look in for help. Not out.

And that is what it takes to make it through this break up, this loneliness, this day. So, is it nice when there is someone who will be there and stick it through while holding your hand and telling you “You can do it.”? Sure.

But the core of everything you will ever build and become in this life, your character, is learning to not only be okay but courageous on your own.

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About author

Christopher Gutierrez

Christopher Gutierrez is the author of several books on love, sex, and relationships. He also hosts a weekly podcast, The Deep End, in addition to running Deadxstop Publishing. Since 2006, he has given hundreds of speakings at colleges, coffee houses and universities all over the world.

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