Let it in

Let it in

So how will you make it?  
You make it by changing the way you see it. 
The break-up will be tough. More difficult than your friends will understand. Because they never saw just how amazing that person could have been – and that was what you believed in all along. The harsh reality is, they didn’t want to be that for you. 
And that sucks to hear. But it’s healthy. It’s healthy to know why they couldn’t, or wouldn’t, love you in all the ways you earned. And when you lie in bed at night, doing your best to go to sleep as fast as possible but you just can’t make your brain shut the fuck up – it will burn. It will come in waves and it will be a physical pain somewhere in your core. One that causes your stomach to lurch, your head to throb, and your eyes to blur.

But that’s good. 
Let it in. Let it sink deep down and feel it. Talk it out loud underneath your blanket. Tell yourself you could have done better. That they should have cared more. That your love is real and genuine and valid and fuck anyone for even daring to take advantage of that. Tell yourself whatever you need to yell and scream because it is important that you let it out. Hiding from the pain is only lying to yourself. Take it in and take the hit because you can. Because you’ve survived worse shit.

But remember this – your secret is, just because it hurts doesn’t mean you’re weak. It won’t kill you because you’ve always been stronger than they thought. And remember that this relationship was good. Even if only to teach you what you’re NOT willing to tolerate. The pain tempers you. It strengthens that core. It straightens that backbone and it will eventually reveal a clearer definition of your happiness. Because your happiness is your own and should never be decided by those who aren’t willing or excited to give back what you have invested.

You are better and stronger and smarter and more valuable than to continue to maintain unhealthy relationships. But see it for what it is – an opportunity. Because you will be more confident, aware, and courageous for leaving them behind.

Good luck.

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About author

Christopher Gutierrez

Christopher Gutierrez is the author of several books on love, sex, and relationships. He also hosts a weekly podcast, The Deep End, in addition to running Deadxstop Publishing. Since 2006, he has given hundreds of speakings at colleges, coffee houses and universities all over the world.

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