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The Secret Bluebird

Home / Posts created by Christopher Gutierrez
  • Sad fucks.

    Sad fucks.

    — June 6, 2017

    I remember a time when meeting someone who was just as damaged was a bit of a relief. Everyone walking…

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  • The light of debt

    The light of debt

    — January 28, 2017

    The pitch in her voice began to escalate. The words were coming faster and faster in frantic disjointed sentences. The…

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  • The best part of my day

    The best part of my day

    — January 4, 2017

    She went to bed earlier than I did. A little hold over from her time spent in corporate America and…

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  • Black clouds

    Black clouds

    — January 2, 2017

    There is a sadness that seems to be constantly looming. Our brief periods of elation and splendor are consistently ruined…

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  • Every one leaves you with a gift.

    Every one leaves you with a gift.

    — December 13, 2016

    I can’t for the life of me remember where we even met. Clearly from online dating but which platform and…

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  • Light isn’t lost. It is stolen.

    Light isn’t lost. It is stolen.

    — November 1, 2016

    I used to pride myself on the company I kept. “Your friends are a bunch of assholes.” I would laugh…

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  • How do you know when you are in love?

    How do you know when you are in love?

    — October 27, 2016

    Someone once asked me, “How do you know when you are in love?” I responded the way you probably would,…

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  • And maybe it is hard.

    And maybe it is hard.

    — April 27, 2016

    I have always been fascinated by transformations. The desperation and tenacity of the human spirit is fascinating. I am magnetized…

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  • So The Old Could Fade

    So The Old Could Fade

    — November 24, 2015

    The moment we connected is lost to time. You are born with a limited amount of space and as the…

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  • Living With The Heartbreak

    Living With The Heartbreak

    — September 2, 2015

    My grandfather was a kind and gentle man. He was kind in the way TV grandfathers treat their grandkids on…

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  • The End And On To The Beginning

    The End And On To The Beginning

    — August 25, 2015

    So I guess this is a good time to let you all know that I will be shutting down the…

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  • All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Objectified

    All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Objectified

    — August 20, 2015

    “I had to leave because I went through all the women in that town,” she said. She probably expected me…

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  • The Right Thing Is Rarely Easy

    The Right Thing Is Rarely Easy

    — August 18, 2015

    All I could think was, here we go again. Having the same conversation over and over. I just wanted to…

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  • Why No One Can Handle Me

    Why No One Can Handle Me

    — August 16, 2015

    She hopped in my car as fast as possible while trying to escape the rain that was coming down in…

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  • Youthful Arrogance

    Youthful Arrogance

    — August 14, 2015

    I knew I could get away with it. The things I was shouting. The way I was embarrassing her in…

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  • The Least Likely To Change

    The Least Likely To Change

    — August 12, 2015

    I was sitting on the couch in my sweatpants catching up on my DVR when my phone lit up. I…

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  • Spite Is A Cancer

    Spite Is A Cancer

    — August 11, 2015

    First, I want to begin by apologizing for my lack of articles. This past week was one of the most…

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  • Remember To Be Careful

    Remember To Be Careful

    — August 8, 2015

    We had been talking for an intense twenty minutes. It was short ride, and I looked down at the map…

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  • Interviews With Cheaters, Part 5

    Interviews With Cheaters, Part 5

    — August 6, 2015

    In the summer of 2014, I set out to interview cheaters. Men, women, bi, gay, straight, black, white, young, old,…

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  • You Are Not Picky.

    You Are Not Picky.

    — August 4, 2015

    She stared at me with contempt. Furrowed brow, pursed lips, squinting eyes. It wasn’t playful. It wasn’t endearing or adorable,…

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  • To Feel Whole Again

    To Feel Whole Again

    — August 3, 2015

    We were lying in her bed watching the storm roll across the buildings. The view from her 52nd floor apartment…

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  • The Impossibility Of Compatibity

    The Impossibility Of Compatibity

    — August 2, 2015

    She asked to meet at a local bar near her house. She needed to be close to home in case…

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  • Wrong Just Like Me

    Wrong Just Like Me

    — July 30, 2015

    Everyone in high school was convinced they were going to marry their boyfriend or girlfriend, and I was no exception….

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  • Philandering Ways

    Philandering Ways

    — July 29, 2015

    It was a beautiful summer day so we sat on the outdoor patio. Surrounded by the downtown buildings and occasional…

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  • When You Know He Is Not The One

    When You Know He Is Not The One

    — July 27, 2015

    She had these odd weathered hand-stitched tapestries on her wall. Three different pictures of sad looking clowns on what was…

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  • Moca

    Moca

    — July 26, 2015

    I used her. She didn’t even know it was coming. She didn’t even tell me her real name, but she…

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  • Why Sex Is Not Love

    Why Sex Is Not Love

    — July 25, 2015

    Since when is sex the “ultimate” form of love and why do we all just take this as gospel? The…

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  • Why Cuddling Is Better Than Sex

    Why Cuddling Is Better Than Sex

    — July 24, 2015

    Through all of my mis-adventures with internet dating, I have learned that a vast majority of women love to cuddle….

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  • Someone Who Needs It

    Someone Who Needs It

    — July 23, 2015

    He said, “I just wish I knew why she keeps going back to him.” We drove south on Lake Shore…

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  • I Know (A Letter To A Friend)

    I Know (A Letter To A Friend)

    — July 21, 2015

    I know it seems like things are always rough but this time right now might be one of the roughest….

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  • Guys Like Me Don’t Kiss Girls Like You

    Guys Like Me Don’t Kiss Girls Like You

    — July 20, 2015

    Unseasonably warm for fall in Chicago, I rode toward Racine Avenue slowly so I wouldn’t sweat. My eyes still puffed…

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  • No Two Are Alike

    No Two Are Alike

    — July 19, 2015

    No one truly knows why we like what we do. After meeting over a thousand people for a date and…

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  • Survivors

    Survivors

    — July 17, 2015

    It really is an interesting thing to look at if you step back for a minute – this life we…

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  • Just Another Coffee Date

    Just Another Coffee Date

    — July 15, 2015

    Just Another Coffee Date An excerpt from my book Maybe He’ll Grow Out Of It I put the condom in…

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  • Wrecking Machines

    Wrecking Machines

    — July 13, 2015

    There is a series of unspoken questions you go through online before most people agree to meet in person. Generally,…

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  • Broken Pieces

    Broken Pieces

    — July 12, 2015

    When he walked through the door you were intrigued that someone so charming would find you attractive. Or maybe you…

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  • The South To Her North

    The South To Her North

    — July 10, 2015

    We had agreed to meet downtown on her lunch hour for coffee. She showed up in a blazer and sensible…

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  • Respectful Fuckboys

    Respectful Fuckboys

    — July 9, 2015

    I have a confession: I am a recovering Fuckboy. For those of you who don’t know the definition, just do…

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  • Guest Writer: Keltie Knight – 16 Rules To Live By

    Guest Writer: Keltie Knight – 16 Rules To Live By

    — July 8, 2015

    Glamour Magazine wrote a very famous article on the things a woman should have and know by 30. It inspired me…

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  • Never Be Ashamed Of Your Enthusiasm

    Never Be Ashamed Of Your Enthusiasm

    — July 6, 2015

    She sat across from me visibly uncomfortable. Eyes darting around the room then resting back at her shoes. The way…

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  • But I Understand

    But I Understand

    — July 5, 2015

    One of the great things about being an adult is the fact that we can do whatever we want to…

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  • Why Did He Flake?

    Why Did He Flake?

    — July 4, 2015

    She sent me a text, “I’m such a loser.” “Why do you say that?” “Because it’s Saturday night, I shaved…

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  • On, Up, Forward, And Away

    On, Up, Forward, And Away

    — July 3, 2015

    I don’t hang out with children all that often. I don’t have any, all my friends that do live out…

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  • Where To Meet A Good Guy

    Where To Meet A Good Guy

    — July 1, 2015

    It was a shot in the dark. I sent her a mildly flirtatious email and crossed my fingers. To my…

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  • Building A Real Person

    Building A Real Person

    — June 30, 2015

    The equally great and awful aspect of internet dating is the fact that you can be practically anonymous. Sure, you…

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  • Relationships Never Follow A Straight Line

    Relationships Never Follow A Straight Line

    — June 28, 2015

    He threw his hockey equipment in the back seat, closed the door, then hopped into my passenger seat and asked…

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  • Six years ago

    Six years ago

    — June 27, 2015

    Nine years ago I flew out to Colorado to give a speaking at a university. Thus began my years of…

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  • The Disconnect

    The Disconnect

    — June 26, 2015

    There is a disconnect between generations. And while age does play into this, it is not entirely exclusive. My mother…

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  • Doomsayer

    Doomsayer

    — June 25, 2015

    Last week, I wrote an article referencing a story I wrote in my book, The Direction Of Home. The story…

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  • The Damaged Ones

    The Damaged Ones

    — June 23, 2015

    There was an air of superiority in her tone. Something that comes with being exceedingly successful in one’s career but…

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  • Thrive And Survive

    Thrive And Survive

    — June 20, 2015

    I remember waking up and my mom rushing into my room and sitting down and saying, “Listen, I know you…

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  • Forever Swiping Right

    Forever Swiping Right

    — June 19, 2015

    Under the El tracks in Chicago, I once met a woman for sex in the front seat of a car….

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  • The Expectation Of Expectations

    The Expectation Of Expectations

    — June 17, 2015

    One of the few things that I think a lot of people misunderstand about dating is expectation. From the first…

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  • Lures Cast

    Lures Cast

    — June 16, 2015

    While I was writing my dating profile, I told my roommate I would meet up with anyone who asked. Finding…

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  • Because Of You

    Because Of You

    — June 15, 2015

    I guess what you never really expect is that you never forget. Over the past week, I have been going…

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  • Disadvantages

    Disadvantages

    — June 14, 2015

    I opened my laptop today to do my writing and I noticed that I didn’t close out of the PDF…

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  • Fourth Chances

    Fourth Chances

    — June 13, 2015

    It has been a while since I have been deep in the belly of online dating. But like summer camp,…

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  • A Cold Drink

    A Cold Drink

    — June 12, 2015

    Her initial opening email made some mention about my online profile in reference to something I wrote about how you…

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  • Force It Until It Snaps

    Force It Until It Snaps

    — June 10, 2015

    I read an article recently that mentioned a theory about how as we grow older we lose more and more…

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  • Grey Hairs And All

    Grey Hairs And All

    — June 8, 2015

    It has always been about what I could get. I mean, even my first girlfriend was more about social status…

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  • Good On Paper

    Good On Paper

    — June 7, 2015

    I was talking with a friend last night about her recent troubles and this story came up. Instead of rehashing…

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  • An Invitation To Stay

    An Invitation To Stay

    — June 5, 2015

    She sat across from me nervously tugging at the bottom of her striped top. I knew the motion. She was…

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  • Who Is In Your Corner

    Who Is In Your Corner

    — June 4, 2015

    He stood across from me, eyes transfixed on the passing traffic. He wasn’t pausing for dramatic effect, he was visibly…

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  • Tiny Explosions

    Tiny Explosions

    — June 2, 2015

    Four times in the past couple weeks people have said that I look 27. When I tell them how old…

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  • Amazing Soup

    Amazing Soup

    — June 1, 2015

    I don’t know if I have mentioned this on here before but in my spare time, I sometimes drive for…

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  • What Works For Me

    What Works For Me

    — May 31, 2015

    It was rainy Saturday night in Chicago. I drove slowly down Clark Street doing my best to avoid the zombie…

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  • So Someone Just Cheated On You – Now What?

    So Someone Just Cheated On You – Now What?

    — May 28, 2015

    The entire motivation for starting this site was to put something positive back out in to the world. It was…

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  • So You Just Got Dumped – Now What?

    So You Just Got Dumped – Now What?

    — May 27, 2015

    It’s one of the few commonalities we share. Love and the loss of it impacts almost every person at every…

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  • The Whole Truth

    The Whole Truth

    — May 24, 2015

    We constantly hear people talk about how they always tell the truth or how they just want to hear the…

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  • Respect The Journey

    Respect The Journey

    — May 23, 2015

    Throughout my life I have always kept a moderate to barely above average exercise regiment. I have my slow months…

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  • Where To Begin

    Where To Begin

    — May 22, 2015

    I recently received an email asking me for suggestions on how to help someone connect more with her boyfriend. She…

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  • How Hard Is It To Just Lie?

    How Hard Is It To Just Lie?

    — May 21, 2015

    I am a naturally curious person. If you have ever had the displeasure of sitting across from me over coffee…

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  • The Tragedy Of Relationships

    The Tragedy Of Relationships

    — May 19, 2015

    I pulled the baked potatoes out of the oven and placed them on the table. She called from the other…

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  • Someone Rad

    Someone Rad

    — May 18, 2015

    I was sitting in the back lounge when he came on the bus. He was loud and obnoxious but with…

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  • The Storm

    The Storm

    — May 16, 2015

    When she called and said that she wanted to break up with me I simply responded with “Okay,” and then…

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  • Managing The Crazy

    Managing The Crazy

    — May 14, 2015

    Like you, I was raised with unrealistic expectations. The ideal of the perfect person is sold to us through movies…

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  • A Few Seconds Longer

    A Few Seconds Longer

    — May 13, 2015

    I remember him leaning her up against his red Ford Escort that he had bought himself from working at his…

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  • When The Mess Becomes Your Mess

    When The Mess Becomes Your Mess

    — May 11, 2015

    He walked in the apartment visibly upset. Without saying hey to any of us, he kept his head down as…

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  • Your End Of The Bargain

    Your End Of The Bargain

    — May 8, 2015

    I don’t remember exactly which website it was, but I do recall how intriguing I found her profile. She was…

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  • The X Amount Of Expectation

    The X Amount Of Expectation

    — May 7, 2015

    We had been dating for a few months and had somehow made it past the period of being a simple…

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  • One Thousand First Dates

    One Thousand First Dates

    — May 6, 2015

    After telling someone you’ve been on over one thousand first dates, you can expect to be asked some questions. Some…

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  • Someone’s Someone

    Someone’s Someone

    — May 5, 2015

    I have been in some form of a romantic relationship for the majority of my life. It began in 8th…

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  • In All The Right Ways At The Right Times

    In All The Right Ways At The Right Times

    — May 3, 2015

    When I think about it, there have been very few people I have come across that have genuinely shook me…

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  • Keeping The Fire

    Keeping The Fire

    — May 2, 2015

    She told me she was moving across the country for him. When she left two years ago, she said that…

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  • My Love Is Not Unconditional

    My Love Is Not Unconditional

    — May 1, 2015

    We were driving along Lake Shore Drive and the waves were crashing white. It was about midnight and we were…

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  • The Wolves Of Manipulation

    The Wolves Of Manipulation

    — April 30, 2015

    I had to have been around 21. Our little group of hoodlums sat next to a table of adorable girls…

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  • So You Want A Healthy Relationship?

    So You Want A Healthy Relationship?

    — April 29, 2015

    Time has always been a constant theme in my work. It’s time to get going. It’s time to make a…

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  • On How To Ruin Your Girlfriend

    On How To Ruin Your Girlfriend

    — April 28, 2015

    If you’re like me, most of your relationships have failed. Maybe some were your fault, but let’s be honest –…

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  • Ahoy hoy.

    Ahoy hoy.

    — April 27, 2015

    I will be leaving for the airport in a few hours, then after a bit of a pit stop in…

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  • It Is All Manageable

    It Is All Manageable

    — April 26, 2015

    Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 4:58 am. 5am. i finally washed your smell off of my pillows tonight. then i died…

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  • Someone Is Watching You

    Someone Is Watching You

    — April 25, 2015

    Tonight, Bruce Jenner went on television and made his (he did say that until he emerges as a woman he…

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  • Successful Booty Calls

    Successful Booty Calls

    — April 23, 2015

    Today, I was asked to respond to this question for a website: “Basically, if you are going to do the…

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  • A Garden Does Not Grow On It’s Own

    A Garden Does Not Grow On It’s Own

    — April 22, 2015

    At first I thought it was a joke. Like the way you say things in the heat of the moment,…

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  • Deal-Breakers And Booger-Eaters

    Deal-Breakers And Booger-Eaters

    — April 21, 2015

    There are vast expanses of the country that don’t receive cell phone reception. Miles upon miles where you are forced…

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  • I Care That They Know That I Care

    I Care That They Know That I Care

    — April 20, 2015

    I always dread birthdays. Not because I fear arbitrary milestones or the number of times the planet has made it’s…

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  • Red Flags And Small Men

    Red Flags And Small Men

    — April 18, 2015

    Our lives only seem easy in retrospect. When I look back at my life I would like to think it…

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  • Chasing Rabbits

    Chasing Rabbits

    — April 16, 2015

    I always say you have to give it a few years to let the wounds heal, but eventually, provided you…

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  • Burning Fight

    Burning Fight

    — April 15, 2015

    It was late, probably two or three in the morning and my depression was weighing heavy. In retrospect, I can…

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  • A Change Of Pace

    A Change Of Pace

    — April 14, 2015

    Okay, so I had an idea for an article tonight but I as I was outlining it over in my…

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  • Ethical Outlaws

    Ethical Outlaws

    — April 13, 2015

    I have done my fair share of awful things in relationships over the years. I won’t go into too much…

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  • Why I Still Talk About My Exs

    Why I Still Talk About My Exs

    — April 11, 2015

    In my past article, I mentioned that I wasn’t an easy person to date. Sure, I’m abrasive and opinionated like…

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  • Filtering

    Filtering

    — April 10, 2015

    She told me she couldn’t say his name for years. That when she was on the train or in a…

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  • Redefining Sexuality For The Better – Part 2

    Redefining Sexuality For The Better – Part 2

    — April 9, 2015

    For part 1 of this, click here The break up followed two weeks later. It was perfect timing because after…

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  • Conversations With Strangers

    Conversations With Strangers

    — April 8, 2015

    I pulled up in front of the West Loop wine bar and waited. After a few minutes, an attractive blonde…

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  • Why No One Needs To Know Your Number

    Why No One Needs To Know Your Number

    — April 7, 2015

    This is an article I published a couple years ago but after some recent conversations, I feel it need to…

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  • What Do We Need?

    What Do We Need?

    — April 6, 2015

    The older I get, the more I realize just how little I know. More specifically, how little I know of…

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  • What Do You Give?

    What Do You Give?

    — April 5, 2015

    Last night I drove out to the suburbs to hang out with my brother for his birthday. He had a…

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  • Of Varying Weights

    Of Varying Weights

    — April 2, 2015

    I never intended it to be anything serious. I found her social media profile online and was blown away by…

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  • I Want You To Want To Do The Dishes

    I Want You To Want To Do The Dishes

    — April 1, 2015

    We had gotten a pretty big group of people together to go to the movies. From what I remember it…

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  • Interviews With Cheaters, Part 4.

    Interviews With Cheaters, Part 4.

    — March 31, 2015

    In the summer of 2014, I set out to interview cheaters. Men, women, bi, gay, straight, black, white, young, old,…

    Continue Reading ...
  • What Is Fair

    What Is Fair

    — March 30, 2015

    The problem was, I put her on a pedestal. Not that she didn’t deserve the utmost respect and adoration, but…

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  • Being Single Is Not A Curse

    Being Single Is Not A Curse

    — March 28, 2015

    She asked me, “Do you think I will ever want to settle down?” I knew she wanted perspective, or even…

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  • A Shot At Forever

    A Shot At Forever

    — March 27, 2015

    I guess the most important aspect of my relationships didn’t come to light until fairly recently. See, I have always…

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  • Why He Picked Her

    Why He Picked Her

    — March 26, 2015

    He was tall, handsome, and built. He had a deep voice, confident gait, and perfect hair. The kind of guy…

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  • Redefining Forever

    Redefining Forever

    — March 25, 2015

    She yelled, “But you promised you would never leave me.” And she was right. I did say that. And I…

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  • Learning To Fight Fair In The Gender Wars

    Learning To Fight Fair In The Gender Wars

    — March 24, 2015

    I never liked generalizing people. And while stereotypes exist for a reason, the problem is – they simply aren’t exclusive….

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  • The Encouragement Of Evolution

    The Encouragement Of Evolution

    — March 21, 2015

    I have always maintained the the key to a happy life is the ability to continue to evolve. Stagnancy is…

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  • How To Create A Legacy

    How To Create A Legacy

    — March 20, 2015

    I am notorious for over-booking. At least once a week, plans will overlap with other friends and I look like…

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  • You’re A Mess

    You’re A Mess

    — March 19, 2015

    Like I have said before, there is a difference between what we need and what we want out of a…

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  • The soundtrack to a breaking heart

    The soundtrack to a breaking heart

    — March 18, 2015

    I get it. I have been there plenty of times to see it coming and to know when I’m deep…

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  • Interviews With Cheaters, Part 3

    Interviews With Cheaters, Part 3

    — March 17, 2015

    In the summer of 2014, I set out to interview cheaters. Men, women, bi, gay, straight, black, white, young, old,…

    Continue Reading ...
  • Over And Over Again

    Over And Over Again

    — March 15, 2015

    I often talk about my time immersed in online dating. I speak about it in the way that people reminisce…

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  • How To Make The First Kiss Tolerable

    How To Make The First Kiss Tolerable

    — March 13, 2015

    So I started a podcast over four years ago to answer the questions people had been asking me about sex…

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  • Spilled Coffee

    Spilled Coffee

    — March 12, 2015

    It was a beautiful sunny day in Chicago yesterday so I walked over to my local Starbucks and ordered a…

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  • Still Got It

    Still Got It

    — March 11, 2015

    I had some time on my hands and decided to help organize and clean my moms basement. While my mom…

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  • Just One Person

    Just One Person

    — March 6, 2015

    I walked into my managers office and asked if if she had a few minutes to speak. I sat down…

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  • How To Tell If You’re In Love

    How To Tell If You’re In Love

    — March 5, 2015

    I sent him a text asking him how he was handling the break up and he replied, “She made the…

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  • Why The Good Matters

    Why The Good Matters

    — March 4, 2015

    A few times a year, mostly when it’s late and I have run out of things to look at on…

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  • During The Fight And After The Fight

    During The Fight And After The Fight

    — March 3, 2015

    She sent a text asking if I would be able to meet for coffee. I said sure and that I…

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  • Sleep Better

    Sleep Better

    — March 1, 2015

    There are few things that give us away more than our subconscious. Sometimes when I get stuck on writing I…

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  • Earning It Back

    Earning It Back

    — February 28, 2015

    She said, “I would totally date you… if I didn’t know about your past.” It’s not like I wasn’t aware…

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  • Interviews With Cheaters, Part 2

    Interviews With Cheaters, Part 2

    — February 26, 2015

    In the summer of 2014, I set out to interview cheaters. Men, women, bi, gay, straight, black, white, young, old,…

    Continue Reading ...
  • Better After You Leave

    Better After You Leave

    — February 25, 2015

    My first real job – one where I wasn’t being paid under the table or being exploited for underaged labor…

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  • He Broke Up With Me Via Text

    He Broke Up With Me Via Text

    — February 22, 2015

    “I just don’t understand.” She said, “What kind of person would text a breakup?” “A coward.” I said. “All he…

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  • Erasing Regrets

    Erasing Regrets

    — February 19, 2015

    When I read how people claim to have no regrets, I always sigh and shake my head a bit. Sure,…

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  • Leave No Questions

    Leave No Questions

    — February 18, 2015

    I picked up the phone to call for the third time. Her parents kept telling me that she was out…

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  • What Is Sexy?

    What Is Sexy?

    — February 17, 2015

    Since her online dating profile only had a few pictures, I sent her a text asking if she had any…

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  • Strong, Secure, And Single

    Strong, Secure, And Single

    — February 15, 2015

    I guess I would consider myself lucky in a way that my questionable life choices have provided me the opportunity…

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  • Redefining Sexuality For The Better – Part 1

    Redefining Sexuality For The Better – Part 1

    — February 14, 2015

    We slowly walked up the concrete steps of the industrial building in one of Chicago’s up and coming neighborhoods. It…

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  • Compatibility Attacks In The Most Unexpected Moments

    Compatibility Attacks In The Most Unexpected Moments

    — February 13, 2015

    We were sitting on opposite sides of the couch facing each other. I pulled the red blanket up to my…

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  • When Your Heart Gets It Right

    When Your Heart Gets It Right

    — February 12, 2015

    It happened so long ago but I could still take you back to the exact parking spot where I lost…

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  • What Do You Owe Yourself?

    What Do You Owe Yourself?

    — February 9, 2015

    It took months, but eventually one morning I rolled over and before she could even say good morning, I said,…

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  • May The Odds Of Online Dating Be Forever In Your Favor

    May The Odds Of Online Dating Be Forever In Your Favor

    — February 8, 2015

    My phone lit up as the text came through, “There is no way you went on a thousand dates.” She…

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  • Learning The Hard Way

    Learning The Hard Way

    — February 7, 2015

    There was never a woman more intriguing. I couldn’t believe she responded to my messages let alone allow me in…

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  • Confusing Men And How To Avoid Them

    Confusing Men And How To Avoid Them

    — February 6, 2015

    Every person we encounter is different. Even if there is nothing noticeably unique about their character when we meet them….

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  • The Explanation Of The Dreaded Cut-And-Paste Message

    The Explanation Of The Dreaded Cut-And-Paste Message

    — February 5, 2015

    I have been online dating since I first learned there was a way to semi-anonymously contact another person online. I…

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  • A Consistently Disappointed Coward

    A Consistently Disappointed Coward

    — February 4, 2015

    I once wrote a story called Less Than 35. A sad, self-serving, tale about doing my best to stay alive…

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  • We’re On A Break

    We’re On A Break

    — February 1, 2015

    She was blocking the door with her body. It wasn’t even crying anymore, it was more of a hyperventilating heaving….

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  • A Comfortable Apathy

    A Comfortable Apathy

    — January 31, 2015

    I think we both knew the relationship had been over for months. It seemed that we were just waiting for…

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  • How Is Your “Type” Working Out For You?

    How Is Your “Type” Working Out For You?

    — January 30, 2015

    “Oh, I know someone I could set you up with.” I said. She looked at me with pursed lips and…

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  • And The Best Way To Ruin The Sentimentality Of Love Is

    And The Best Way To Ruin The Sentimentality Of Love Is

    — January 29, 2015

    I was just trying to drink my coffee in peace but my local Starbucks is always so overpacked that it’s…

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  • How I Almost Bought A Ring For The Wrong Woman

    How I Almost Bought A Ring For The Wrong Woman

    — January 28, 2015

    I walked past the shops looking at my reflection in the windows wondering if I had made the mistake of…

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  • Lurking Never Made It Better

    Lurking Never Made It Better

    — January 27, 2015

    I often wonder how different I would have turned out had social media been around when I was at my…

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  • My Welcome Obligation

    My Welcome Obligation

    — January 26, 2015

    They would say, “But I just don’t know how to tell him.” And I would always respond, “Just tell him…

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  • The List

    The List

    — January 25, 2015

    Ever since I mustered the confidence to speak to people, I have seemingly been on a continuous search for the…

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  • No Obligations But One

    No Obligations But One

    — January 24, 2015

    In the mid-90s, my friends and I would make the 20 minute journey, two towns away, to go get coffee…

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  • Weak Promises And Why You Believe Them

    Weak Promises And Why You Believe Them

    — January 22, 2015

    We have all heard the saying that there is a difference between words and actions. And it’s pretty simple. There…

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  • Understanding Your Power

    Understanding Your Power

    — January 21, 2015

    Once you realize the influence you have on another person it is difficult to suppress the desire to abuse it….

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  • The Scars Of The Lunchroom Battleground

    The Scars Of The Lunchroom Battleground

    — January 20, 2015

    I guess I grew up around enough people with an entitled attitude to have learned to steer clear of expectations….

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  • The Art Of Friendship

    The Art Of Friendship

    — January 19, 2015

    As we age, it is nearly impossible to avoid gaining knowledge and insight into the world around you. Well, to…

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  • Interviews With Cheaters, Part 1.

    Interviews With Cheaters, Part 1.

    — January 18, 2015

    In the summer of 2014, I set out to interview cheaters. Men, women, bi, gay, straight, black, white, young, old,…

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  • The Importance Of Coffee

    The Importance Of Coffee

    — January 16, 2015

    We met downtown for overpriced coffee. We chatted and discussed the ridiculousness of our past relationships. For as much as…

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  • A Letter To A Fat Girl

    A Letter To A Fat Girl

    — January 15, 2015

    I knew she had been drinking. Not to the point of being sloppy or belligerent, but just enough for her…

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  • Falling In Love With Your Fight

    Falling In Love With Your Fight

    — January 14, 2015

    I am not easy. It took me a while to understand this, but eventually after years of long talks and…

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  • When A Boy Becomes A Man

    When A Boy Becomes A Man

    — January 13, 2015

    I think one of the most defining moments as a man is when you realize you actually do owe something…

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  • Rock By Rock

    Rock By Rock

    — January 12, 2015

    We hear all the time about how important self-confidence is to our growth. It seems to be the catch-all for…

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  • The Wants And Needs Of A Healthy Heart

    The Wants And Needs Of A Healthy Heart

    — January 10, 2015

    If you’re here and reading this, odds are you want what most of us desire. To be in a happy…

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  • Behavior Modifications For The Modern Male

    Behavior Modifications For The Modern Male

    — January 9, 2015

    Her hand kept tapping her empty cup on the metal table. “It’s like, I just keep telling him what to…

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  • How To Be Cool

    How To Be Cool

    — January 7, 2015

    She was one of the first strangers I met from the internet. I’m pretty sure we found each other on…

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  • Holding Your Insides Together

    Holding Your Insides Together

    — January 6, 2015

    One of the biggest mistakes people do when attempting to console a friend after a break-up is to tell them…

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  • No Matter Where You Are

    No Matter Where You Are

    — January 6, 2015

    I rolled on my side and wrapped my arm around her. I nuzzled my nose into the back of her…

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  • Never Date A Coward

    Never Date A Coward

    — January 6, 2015

    I asked him how his relationship was going and he said, “Eh.” Just a simple grunt of a response but…

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  • The benefits of exclusionary tactics

    The benefits of exclusionary tactics

    — December 28, 2014

    I wondered why she didn’t come around much anymore. On the weekends, my mom would leave to visit her boyfriend…

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  • A guide to navigating the turds of online dating

    A guide to navigating the turds of online dating

    — December 28, 2014

    My friend was new to online dating. We texted back and forth about the emails she had received and laughed…

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  • He thinks about you.

    He thinks about you.

    — December 28, 2014

    Maybe because it’s late and maybe it’s because it’s a warm summer night and nights like these remind me of…

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  • Believing the lie

    Believing the lie

    — December 28, 2014

    Have you ever been with someone you didn’t trust? 
A boyfriend or girlfriend. A brother or sister. A friend or teammate….

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  • Terminal laziness, unreasonable laziness, and the unwavering fight

    Terminal laziness, unreasonable laziness, and the unwavering fight

    — December 28, 2014

    Each one of us was born with some thing or some one doing it’s best to hold us back. None…

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  • Let it in

    Let it in

    — December 28, 2014

    So how will you make it?  
You make it by changing the way you see it. 
The break-up will be tough….

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  • Why he never said I love you back

    Why he never said I love you back

    — December 28, 2014

    I was listening to her talk. She was emotional and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes….

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  • The hard parts

    The hard parts

    — December 28, 2014

    The problem is, we are constantly looking to be inspired. We are so susceptible that even when we’re not paying…

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  • The power of a single mom

    The power of a single mom

    — December 28, 2014

    I watched the red tail lights zoom away from our house and fade into the evening darkness. I looked back…

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Featured Articles

  • Sad fucks.

    Sad fucks.

    — June 6, 2017

    I remember a time when meeting someone who was just as damaged was a bit of a relief. Everyone walking…

  • The light of debt

    The light of debt

    — January 28, 2017

    The pitch in her voice began to escalate. The words were coming faster and faster in frantic disjointed sentences. The…

  • The best part of my day

    The best part of my day

    — January 4, 2017

    She went to bed earlier than I did. A little hold over from her time spent in corporate America and…

  • Black clouds

    Black clouds

    — January 2, 2017

    There is a sadness that seems to be constantly looming. Our brief periods of elation and splendor are consistently ruined…

  • Every one leaves you with a gift.

    Every one leaves you with a gift.

    — December 13, 2016

    I can’t for the life of me remember where we even met. Clearly from online dating but which platform and…

  • Light isn’t lost. It is stolen.

    Light isn’t lost. It is stolen.

    — November 1, 2016

    I used to pride myself on the company I kept. “Your friends are a bunch of assholes.” I would laugh…

  • How do you know when you are in love?

    How do you know when you are in love?

    — October 27, 2016

    Someone once asked me, “How do you know when you are in love?” I responded the way you probably would,…

  • And maybe it is hard.

    And maybe it is hard.

    — April 27, 2016

    I have always been fascinated by transformations. The desperation and tenacity of the human spirit is fascinating. I am magnetized…

  • So The Old Could Fade

    So The Old Could Fade

    — November 24, 2015

    The moment we connected is lost to time. You are born with a limited amount of space and as the…

  • Living With The Heartbreak

    Living With The Heartbreak

    — September 2, 2015

    My grandfather was a kind and gentle man. He was kind in the way TV grandfathers treat their grandkids on…

  • The End And On To The Beginning

    The End And On To The Beginning

    — August 25, 2015

    So I guess this is a good time to let you all know that I will be shutting down the…

  • All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Objectified

    All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Objectified

    — August 20, 2015

    “I had to leave because I went through all the women in that town,” she said. She probably expected me…

  • The Right Thing Is Rarely Easy

    The Right Thing Is Rarely Easy

    — August 18, 2015

    All I could think was, here we go again. Having the same conversation over and over. I just wanted to…

  • Why No One Can Handle Me

    Why No One Can Handle Me

    — August 16, 2015

    She hopped in my car as fast as possible while trying to escape the rain that was coming down in…

  • Youthful Arrogance

    Youthful Arrogance

    — August 14, 2015

    I knew I could get away with it. The things I was shouting. The way I was embarrassing her in…

  • The Least Likely To Change

    The Least Likely To Change

    — August 12, 2015

    I was sitting on the couch in my sweatpants catching up on my DVR when my phone lit up. I…

  • Spite Is A Cancer

    Spite Is A Cancer

    — August 11, 2015

    First, I want to begin by apologizing for my lack of articles. This past week was one of the most…

  • Remember To Be Careful

    Remember To Be Careful

    — August 8, 2015

    We had been talking for an intense twenty minutes. It was short ride, and I looked down at the map…

  • Interviews With Cheaters, Part 5

    Interviews With Cheaters, Part 5

    — August 6, 2015

    In the summer of 2014, I set out to interview cheaters. Men, women, bi, gay, straight, black, white, young, old,…

  • You Are Not Picky.

    You Are Not Picky.

    — August 4, 2015

    She stared at me with contempt. Furrowed brow, pursed lips, squinting eyes. It wasn’t playful. It wasn’t endearing or adorable,…

The Secret Bluebird
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